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Do dating sites really work?
Posted : 30 Aug, 2018 03:03 PM

I don’t know. I hear about the occasional success story, but I’ve been on approximately ten, maybe a dozen sites, over the past nine years. Some, more than once. I have not acquired so much as a single, platonic friend in all that time. I have sent the women on these sites humble, respectful, sincere messages. I have contacted over 200 on this site alone. Despite how wonderful they feel that they are (“beautiful heart”, “selflessly loving”, \"proverbs 31 woman\", yada freak’n yada), they seem to lose the ability to demonstrate these traits when a man like me sends them a message. And, I’m just plain sick of it. I sort of snapped at a woman who simply ignored a message from me last night. No, I didn’t give in to frustration and light her up, but my second message to her was laced with sarcasm. I think therefore it’s time for me to go. I relegated my status here as one of just hanging out, scanning profiles for amusement and enjoying some exchanges in some of the forums. But, I find that I am no longer getting sufficient enjoyment from that. This is not the only problem I’ve encountered on these sites though. Many women here seem to have a preference for younger men, though in my searching, I’ve found that that MIGHT be largely an issue for Los Angeles women primarily (any surprise there?) than for the rest of the US. But, in fairness, my research/searching is not sufficiently thorough. Here are some sample age range prefs I\'ve come across on this site, each of them in the southern CA area (leaving names out as that would be un-biblically vindictive): 66 (52-62) 55 (38-50): I\'m 54 and too OLD for this woman!!! 27 (18-26) 43 (18-36) 40 (32-36) 63 (52-61) 54 (38-54) 56 (25-48): Seriously?!? 32 (24-30) 41 (30-40) 40 (27-36) 45 (32-42) 42 (27-34) 45 (31-40) 45 (28-45) 54 (40-48): Again, she\'s MY age and I\'m too OLD for her. LOL How pathetic. Obviously there\'s a large sexual component to these women\'s desire for a younger man (though they\'ll never admit that). And, I get that, but then don\'t judge those men who only want the pretty young things. Some women seem to have a fear of meeting a man online, so they POOF at the slightest provocation, not giving a man a legitimate chance. My question to them would be, \"Then why are you here?\" Some females have stratospheric expectations, and then they wonder why they’re unattached. One profile here echoed the words some Christian women have said to me directly: \"I want a tall man so that when I wear heels I don\'t feel stupid standing next to him.\" And you women have the audacity to judge men for their shallowness or immaturity?!? Yeah, in my experience sites like this eat rotten eggs. They attract a lot of ... unwise ... people who have ridiculous dating criteria. There are success stories, I know, but I am willing to bet that they are the exception and not the norm. And, I have lost my patience to weather the rudeness and inconsideration from all of these \"Christian\" ladies with \"loving hearts\" who want men twice their height and half their age.

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 30 Aug, 2018 12:43 AM

Well, I was going on the opinion of a female friend. I figured women know women, and took her word that this girl was expressing interest. Kind of laughable, really.

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 24 Aug, 2018 11:02 PM

Let me develop my thought further. In general, I do not mind a woman expressing interest. For me -- and this is just my subjective preference, though it wouldn\'t be a deal-breaker for me if a woman went further -- leaving hints is a good way to go. But, CLEAR hints. I knew this lady in a gym I attend. She made a point of telling me she was single. When proximity made it doable, she\'d hold my hand or hug me. Well, I decided to ask her out. Shot down! So, something unmistakable, if you don\'t want to just come right out and ask the man out. But, if you did. at least for me, it\'s not a deal-breaker. As for winking on a dating site specifically, I do not usually respond to winks. A few times I have, but it is not common. A message, unlike most people on this site, I always respond to, whether or not I\'m interested. Does this help at all? Remember that you will get different responses from different men. There is no universal rule.

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 24 Aug, 2018 10:53 PM

Hello AnnaMX. I don\'t see any problem with it.

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Effectiveness of Dating Sites
Posted : 24 Aug, 2018 12:54 AM

Aham3: Thank you for the supportive words. Marcouse: Seriously? Why are YOU here if you believe it’s all about to go down? Folks: Jesus said the end would come when everyone heard the gospel. To my knowledge, there are something like 3 billion people in the world who’ve yet to hear it. Oh… and I’d seriously reconsider interpreting Bible prophecy via newspaper headlines or a bizarro website whose writer is accountable to no one.

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Favorite films of all time?
Posted : 19 Aug, 2018 08:17 PM

They Live!!! Awesome cult classic. I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick [butt]. And I\'m all out of bubblegum. Simple magical.

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Effectiveness of Dating Sites
Posted : 19 Aug, 2018 07:57 PM

Jay... you know I\'ve had a problem with some of your posts in the past, but... This last entry of yours, in my opinion, is SPOT ON. My profile is more or less a mock profile at this point. I tried half as many women as our persistent originator of this thread, and I got sick of all the non-reads, and the few reads who didn\'t even respond, and VERY few who did never developed into even a prolonged platonic relationship. I do not know what exactly the problem is. I just contacted a woman here, \"Supshorty\" I believe her screen ID is, merely asking her what she meant by \"semi-single\". She actually responded, but only to ask why I didn\'t have any photos of myself. I reiterated what is already on my profile and then restated my question. Her response was to block me. How incredibly childish. But, this is what I encounter here. Too many women here want men who are younger. Sorry ladies, that is not going to work -- generally speaking. One woman in these threads called herself a \"proud cougar\". I just shake my head. And they complain about men wanting the pretty young things. I\'ve had CHRISTIAN women tell me, TO MY FACE, that I was too short for them. One of these was shorter than I, but feared feeling stupid when she stood next to me wearing heels. Younger men, heel-worthiness, etc., are among the Christian woman\'s priorities it seems. I agree with Jayzee 100%. Doing this online makes it very easy for people to be rude, even women who\'s profiles are laced with Christianese. But, a good chunk of the women here too have stratospheric priorities. A product of our spoiled American culture? (Not that I\'m not PROUD to be an American, but no culture is perfect.) Perhaps a result of carnality seeping into the church? Whatever it is, there are a lot of good people out there who, it seems, will go to their graves alone.

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Do Yoga leggings and other indecent dress meet the biblical qualification of modesty
Posted : 3 Aug, 2018 01:58 PM

Your post was confusing. First, you sound repentant. Then, you seem to feel justified in doing the thing you repented of. Then, it\'s a matter of discernment. Are you saying that calling someone \'clueless\' may sometimes be justified, but not in this particular case?

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Do Yoga leggings and other indecent dress meet the biblical qualification of modesty
Posted : 28 Jul, 2018 09:11 PM

Well I\'m going to chime in here. How this descended into a shameful, unchristian display of poop-throwing is beyond me. Calling someone \"clueless\" is uncalled for. Firing back in a flesh-driven way is also wrong. And, the only one speaking for passionless reason to take over is the guy who likewise slaps his fellow christians around as \"sheeple\" because they do not follow the same, hard, rigid path he does. With as much calmness and Christian love as I can muster, this is my take on this topic: Christian women ought not to dress provocatively. Period. In no way do I advocate the insanity of Sharia law, but at the same time Christian women need to hold up cultural trends in the light of Scripture when it comes to dress. But, we should expect nothing less from the world when we see women dressed in form-fitting clothes. Thing is, women (and I believe this is programmed into them by God) want to be seen as beautiful and they want to be desired. But, their sinful nature infects and distorts that need. What can we, as Christian men, do about this? Nothing. All we can do is pray for control to not stare. That\'s pretty much it. Ask for the Holy Spirit\'s continued sanctification so that, over time, our sensibilities grow and our tastes and desires change. I can say that God\'s done some things in me to minimize my lustfulness. There are things that turn people on in the world that no longer have the same impact on me. This is ENTIRELY God. (For example, porn holds almost no temptation for me.) My suggestion is, if you\'re not doing it already, seek God for improved sanctifying in your desires, tastes, etc. Maybe also ask Him to remove any demonic influences in your life as well that may be fanning those flames. I think that\'s all any of us can do.

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Approaching ladies in person
Posted : 26 Jul, 2018 11:16 PM

\"I have conducted my own informal research by asking guys if they would approach an attractive woman they don\'t know and ask for her number. Every man responded by saying that he would be too nervous to do that because of fear of rejection. Does this mean men can only approach women from the safety of being behind a computer screen? If that is the case there is no wonder there are so many single, lonely people. Gentlemen what are your thoughts on this topic?\" Interesting discussion. I have wavered between reality and virtuality. I have \"hid behind the computer screen\" and gone right up to total strangers and asked them out, and some variations in-between. None of these women were bad looking. I have my insecurities and sometimes am borderline terrified to talk to a strange woman. But, for some reason -- be it good sleep, a well-digested potato, or a good cup of coffee -- I sometimes have ZERO inhibitions and will just start talking to a woman. I am still single after nine years of being widowed. My last actual date was in March of 2011. I have tried in all that time, and I have failed, repeatedly, regardless of venue: GNCs, laundromats, theaters, supermarkets, church, dating sites, chat rooms. I do not have what women want. The occasional worldly woman online will express interest in a hookup, but those are swiftly declined. I\'ve had many women reject me on account of my height (5\'6), and two christian women in particular told me so to my face. There are reasons for my perpetual singleness, but most of these I\'ll never know. I have tried things the traditional way and have tried some of the more contemporary methods. I do not have what (most or all) women want. It is that simple. So, in answer to your question, I am not alone for lack of trying. When a woman in church suddenly looks like a deer in headlights after I ask her if she\'d like to exchange contact info just to talk outside the confines of church (after two nice conversations IN church that SHE initiated), you know something is wrong and that Godly companionship and sex are simply not meant to be. I think men are here for a variety of reasons. Rambo gave you some (the lady Lydia did not get where he was coming from, and shows me how much most women do not understand men). I came here because not one church I\'ve attended or visited in the Los Angeles area has a good singles population, or at least one I\'ve felt like I had anything in common with. Online has failed. Reality has failed. Hence, the reason for my profile\'s structure. I simply don\'t take this site or trying to find a partner that seriously anymore, and I don\'t take women that seriously anymore (at least beyond the confines of them being human beings created in the image of God). But, I remain for forums like this.

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